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Thankful for a new entitlement program?

What a round of meetings last week in the White House about solving the looming “fiscal cliff.” Union leaders came there Tuesday. CEOs from big corporations were invited in on Wednesday (no small businessmen invited). Why, I’ll bet there was even a delegation from Hollywood packed in there one day.

While solving the “cliff” remains elusive, the good news is President Obama summoned reporters to the Rose Garden this morning to announce his newest entitlement initiative, telling the media it’s a bold and even more beneficial move than Obamacare.

The president has issued another executive order (No. 4283 — yes, he holds the record). It says that effective Jan. 1 the administration’s motto for his second term will be “Live and Let’s Boat … a Boat for Every Family!”

As one might expect, the press (well, maybe not Fox) just ate it up. “This is even bigger than forgiving student loan interest,” cheered one reporter. “Beats saving the auto industry,” called out another. And, to no one’s surprise, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, doing flips on the White House grass, proclaimed “Oh, this is Santa Claus at his best!”

“Mr. President, does this mean everyone gets a free boat?” pressed a reporter, probably from the Weekly Standard. “Well, not exactly,” responded the president, “what I mean is everyone who makes less than $250,000. See, here’s the thing: I wouldn’t think of increasing the deficit more, so I’m making this ‘revenue neutral’ by ordering an automatic payroll deduction on anyone making more than $250,000 to pay for the boats for those making less. I think those making over $250,000 will want to pay just a little more so everyone can have a boat.”

But wait — the good news doesn’t stop there. To focus even more of a spotlight on boats the executive order also provides that anyone who makes it to the shores of the U.S. in a boat will again be called “boat people” and they will receive automatic citizenship, immediately qualifying them for their own boat.

“This is immigration reform and economic stimulus all rolled into one,” beamed Senate leader Harry Reid.

House minority leader Nancy Pelosi was equally insightful: “If it were a bill, I’d be for passing it right away … so we could find out what’s in it. But since it’s an executive order,” she added, “I’m all for it because that’s how we can conduct good representative government here in Washington.”

Lastly, representative or not, it’s obvious this blogger is in a satirical mood today. But, let’s face it, stranger things have happened — or could happen.

Meanwhile, Happy Thanksgiving.

Comments

8 comments on “Thankful for a new entitlement program?

  1. TODD

    ITS BETTER THAN TELLING THE PEOPLE NOT TO GO OUT AND BUY A BOAT LIKE HE DID A FEW YEARS AGO. BECAUSE THE ECONOMY WAS SO BAD. :-}

  2. JOHN ENNIS

    GODD PIECE OF SATARICAL WRITING…BUT AT LEAST WE DON’T HAVE A DAMM STOCK BROKER IN THE WHITE HOUSE REPRESENTING AN INDUSTRY THAT CREATED THE WORST RECESSION IN HISTORY

  3. Bill AuCoin

    Terrific, Norm, as usual. Here’s the thing. The Fed is printing money. They won’t know to turn off the spigot when the economy starts to rebound. Welcome inflation on steroids. President Obama is banking (pun intended) on $250,000 becoming the new $50,000. Then almost everybody will be taxed. No boats in their futures.

  4. SERGIO LIMA

    Imagine how much we could do without any of this Fox talk.
    The human brain is wired to process the facts.
    People stop thinking effectively when they are out to prove something
    that is not really true.
    One example is when the president first spoke about a man who had
    financed his boat even after he had lost his job. Fox thinking translates this
    into “donot buy boats “.
    I never forgot how much money we lost in the great recession or the people
    who helped bring it about.

  5. Brian

    I’m still looking for Executive Order 4283. I don’t consider myself an idiot, but it looks like B.O.’s executive orders are numbered 13489 – 13628. A link to the documentation would be extremely helpful.

  6. E A Burlingame

    Let’s see, we’re in an industry trying to attract more than just older white males. Is this sort of commentary going to help achieve that goal? Or is the “goal” just lip service? I want boating commentary, not political commentary. Or is Trade Only Today only for older white men?

  7. Doug Reimel

    Creativity, finally a sign and float program. Since the gasoling required to operate the boat is now being rationed, this program quietly is a deportation program in disguise. The fine print says;” maiden voyage is totally free, destination unknown, duration unknown.” Downside the dealers will not beable to bill for warranty work, boats do not ever return under this program. lol

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